2008 Woodie Awards
One Way or Another: Why Buy the Cow When the Milk Is Free?
'Til death do us part'... marriage doesn't always lead to a happy ending.
Tiffany Farmakis
Issue date: 2/23/05 Section: Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
Leave 'happily ever after' to the fairy tales. Divorce statistics are rising and the stigma on marriage is it doesn't seem to work.
So why get married?
Happy couples with rose-colored lenses look forward to promises like a diamond from the De Beers cartel, a starter house and an SUV. The usual middle-class dreams and drudgery. But for 50 percent of married couples, there's another consumer item on the long-term horizon: Le Divorce.
In a report from the National Center for Health Statistics, 43 percent of first marriages end in separation or divorce within 15 years. According to the U. S. Census Bureau, the divorce has quadrupled from 4.3 million in 1970 to 18.3 million in 1996. Research also shows that 40 to 50 percent of new marriages end in divorce. Despite these statistics, thousands of idealists still seek wedded bliss.
Again, I'm left to ponder, why?
Marriage, divorce and re-marriage. Unfortunately it's becoming an all-too-common theme. The multi-billion dollar enterprise that's resulted from it has sent many couples to the poor house, leaving power-driven lawyers thirsty for more.
According to maritalstatus.com, a web site geared toward divorce and remarriage, divorce is a $28 billion-a-year industry with the average cost of legal fees amounting to between $15,000 to $30,000. Some of these include court fees, but most of the money goes to litigation attorneys, who will buy their own big houses, German cars and, of course, throw lavish divorces of their own.
Divorce is big business for attorneys nationwide.
So why do people put themselves and their families through heartache and financial ruin?
It's crazy notions of love. People are driven nuts with the promise of an everlasting, perfect love. But human beings are flawed. People fail to see the array of quirks in their other half. Imperfections are magnified after marriage.
Wide-eyed people, brainwashed and believing think a perfect love and trust can exist once you're with the right person. The harsh reality is that those are merely ideals.
Marriage is hard work. Once the luster of the initial romance is gone, all that's left are two vulnerable people. It's up to them to keep their relationship alive or foolishly lose it in the fruitless pursuit of the raw romance.
Perfection is fleeting and people must understand and accept the transitory nature of this concept. Not doing so leads to the exact opposite of what pure love and trust embody, thus trouble begins. When a couple can no longer hold onto their initial state of puppy-love, and no other solution presents itself, the pair crumbles and the divorce lawyer is called. The vicious cycle then repeats itself.
Take my advice, if you're lonely, instead of jumping on the bandwagon and getting hitched, avoid the enticing bait of marriage and get a dog. Or wait and make sure the person you want to walk down the aisle with will be the same person you'll want sitting next to you on the front porch of your retirement home.
So why get married?
Happy couples with rose-colored lenses look forward to promises like a diamond from the De Beers cartel, a starter house and an SUV. The usual middle-class dreams and drudgery. But for 50 percent of married couples, there's another consumer item on the long-term horizon: Le Divorce.
In a report from the National Center for Health Statistics, 43 percent of first marriages end in separation or divorce within 15 years. According to the U. S. Census Bureau, the divorce has quadrupled from 4.3 million in 1970 to 18.3 million in 1996. Research also shows that 40 to 50 percent of new marriages end in divorce. Despite these statistics, thousands of idealists still seek wedded bliss.
Again, I'm left to ponder, why?
Marriage, divorce and re-marriage. Unfortunately it's becoming an all-too-common theme. The multi-billion dollar enterprise that's resulted from it has sent many couples to the poor house, leaving power-driven lawyers thirsty for more.
According to maritalstatus.com, a web site geared toward divorce and remarriage, divorce is a $28 billion-a-year industry with the average cost of legal fees amounting to between $15,000 to $30,000. Some of these include court fees, but most of the money goes to litigation attorneys, who will buy their own big houses, German cars and, of course, throw lavish divorces of their own.
Divorce is big business for attorneys nationwide.
So why do people put themselves and their families through heartache and financial ruin?
It's crazy notions of love. People are driven nuts with the promise of an everlasting, perfect love. But human beings are flawed. People fail to see the array of quirks in their other half. Imperfections are magnified after marriage.
Wide-eyed people, brainwashed and believing think a perfect love and trust can exist once you're with the right person. The harsh reality is that those are merely ideals.
Marriage is hard work. Once the luster of the initial romance is gone, all that's left are two vulnerable people. It's up to them to keep their relationship alive or foolishly lose it in the fruitless pursuit of the raw romance.
Perfection is fleeting and people must understand and accept the transitory nature of this concept. Not doing so leads to the exact opposite of what pure love and trust embody, thus trouble begins. When a couple can no longer hold onto their initial state of puppy-love, and no other solution presents itself, the pair crumbles and the divorce lawyer is called. The vicious cycle then repeats itself.
Take my advice, if you're lonely, instead of jumping on the bandwagon and getting hitched, avoid the enticing bait of marriage and get a dog. Or wait and make sure the person you want to walk down the aisle with will be the same person you'll want sitting next to you on the front porch of your retirement home.
